Monthly Archives: August 2013

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Neverland

A little while ago my 4 year old daughter invited me to a place, where´s “only peace, quiet and raspberries”. I of course thought, that she was full of shit (again!), but I am a fairly good mother, so had to go with her. I was right – there wasn´t only peace, quiet and raspberries, there was peace, quiet, raspberries and a squirrel. She was making stuff up again!

 

Nevereverland

 

It strikes me really odd and sad and weird and fucked up that allthough we all must know a place where´s only peace, quiet and raspberries (with an occasional squirrel), most of us choose to live our lives like this:

neveragainland

 

 

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Quote of Yesterday

I am starting a new section in this blog. I would prefer not to do it, but unfortunately I am not deaf. So.

I not so proudly present – Quote of Yesterday !

 

“World has changed.

Children are not a blessing anymore.”

 

Thank you, Sister !
They. Are. Not.
God damn parasites !

 

 

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Handsitting

Couple of days ago I took a tram to work or to some other god forbidden place. I was looking out the window thinking about my kick ass cool friends and other stuff that makes me really happy WHEN SUDDENLY.

SOMEONE

SAT

ON

MY

HAND?!

What kind of human fiend (my fingers just can´t type being, I apologize – not) sits on someone´s hand? And then PRETENDS that NOTHING HAPPENED!?
 

I am deeply disturbed. I am utterly confused. I am in rage. I am sad. I can´t sleep. I would like to say that I´ve lost my appetite, but that would be a lie. It was like losing my virginity all over again (I do apologize for this joke – I tried, but I couldn´t take it back).
 

I spent four days and four nights designing a new prohibition sign that could be glued next to the NO DOGS, NO ICE CREAM, NO SMOKING, NO DRINKING and other pointless signs that you can find in public transport.
 

Please, NO
 

Thanks to a friend (pope of photoshop), it turned out really beautiful. Noticed how I used hand of a baby on the sign, so it could be more outspoken and dramatic? I am a quiet genius.
 

 

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Why I Love My Ridiculously Expensive Blender

this is not right
There are many reasons, so I narrow it down to the most important one:

                     It doesn´t ask questions.

It just stands there. Waiting. With it´s snubby come-on-put-some-stuff-in-I´ll-take-care-of-it attitude. And it always does take care of it. No. Matter. What.
 

But. On some rare occasions it really SHOULD ask questions. Like today. Please take a careful look at the picutre on the right. Are you thinking, what I´m thinking?
 

     Watermelon in a smoothie – are you sure?

     Watermelon in a smoothie – have you done this before?

     Watermelon in a smoothie – what about the seeds?

     Watermelon in a smoothie – did you forget to take your meds?
 

My ridiculously expensive blender didn´t have any questions. It just took care of it (like a good soldier). I was really pissed, because I had to drink two mugs of this shit. Bottoms up!
 

two t w o

 

PS. Watermelon seeds make the cutest sound when blending!

 

 

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